Modern Day Rules for Chivalry and Manners

Just call me Miss Manners from now on (not really, that’s obnoxious). But my Monday through Friday routine gets me thinking about manners frequently. Mainly, because people are quite rude. So, I thought I’d share some of my personal rules of how things would be if “Marissa ruled the world.”

1. Door holding – I’m not cray cray, I appreciate if a gentleman holds a door for me, but it is not expected. There are times when you are approaching a door and it’s just weird and awkward to try and hold it open so the person behind you can enter through the door before you. So whatevs, if you do it, I appreciate it, if you don’t, I understand. What I do expect from people walking in front of me, male or female, is for them not to let the door slam in my face. That’s called being a decent human being. Also, if someone holds a door open for you so that it doesn't slam in your face, you should say “thank you.” That’s another thing that decent humans do. Car doors are a little different, I don’t think many lads do the car door opening thing anymore, but if you’re on a fancy date with a lady you’re trying to impress, I’m sure she’d be pleasantly surprised to have you open the car door for her. In return, the lady should unlock the car door for driver. Automatic locks help you out with that, but it’s the gesture that counts.

2. Meal paying – It is my firm opinion that the date ASKER should pay for the entire meal. Yes, nine times out of ten this means the guy will pay, but for you I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. ladies out there, if you ask a dude out on a date, you should be ready to foot the bill. (If it's his birthday, or you're celebrating his promotion or something, it's only natural the lady should pay in those instances). While you are on a date, the bill will inevitably come. It is common courtesy for the person who accepted the date to offer to chip in for the bill. This should always be declined by the date asker. However, I strongly believe that the date-acceptor should find a way to make a small gesture of gratitude with his/her wallet on another occasion. For instance, he/she could offer to buy the popcorn and soda at the movies, or pay for the parking garage -- you get my drift. This simply signifies that the person is not a total mooch and is willing to drop some cash from time to time. It’s all about the giving and receiving in a relationship. 

3. Elevator doors – Yes. These rules are different from regular doors. (Remember this article started as, “if Marissa ruled the world!” So don’t knock my world, people.) Gentlemen should always, I repeat ALWAYS, let females off of the elevator first. The only exception is if the elevator is extremely crowded and you physically cannot step aside to let them off first. In this case, you should step outside of the elevator, but use your arm to keep it open for the women to exit. This prevents us from getting squished by those crazy elevator doors. It’s the least you can do, we give birth to all the humans of this earth.

4. Introduce one another – You know when you’re out on a date and you run into an acquaintance and start making small talk all while your date stands on the outskirts of the interaction trying not to look awkward? Well yea, that’s when you should take the opportunity to introduce them. This gets tricky if you don’t remember the name of the person that you ran into, but you can simply say, “Oh sorry, I’m so rude, this is my friend Jane/John” and let the person you ran into say their own name to your date.

5. Pick up the phone, once in awhile – I know, it’s the digital age. Texting is now the way people set up dates, or have a flirtatious interaction (or just skip to sexting) as they get to know each other. Every once in a blue moon, you should pick up the phone and have a conversation. It shows a little extra effort and demonstrates your sincerity and interest. I am particularly adamant about this rule when you can accomplish something more efficiently through speaking instead of texting. For example, you’re picking up your date but you can’t seem to find the address. Instead of texting to say, “Where’s your street exactly? I’m near the dunkin donuts.” and waiting for their response, just call. It will seriously take less effort. 

Do you have any other "rules" that you think should be implemented?

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