Learning to Live in the Present

So true. Cartoon from MisterGoh.com

I had a mini-meltdown last night. Since I was a child, I’ve had issues sleeping when my anxiety levels are high. Even if my body is dead tired, I’ll be laying in bed desperately hoping to fall asleep, but my mind is wide awake and racing away. Well, last night was one of those nights. What’s there to be stress about, you say? These things tend to be anything and everything. Currently, I have a bit of anxiety about moving -- we have not begun to pack and we really only have one free weekend before our moving date. In addition, I notoriously have buyer's remorse about any place I move into. My remorse typically sets in when all of the cleaning needs to be done and I’m feeling like the people who lived in the apartment before me are disgusting filthy animals. 

But, I digress. Thoughts of the new apartment got me thinking about the larger living space and what that would mean for us. The minute we got married the questions began, “so when are you starting a family?” We usually give some vague response. But a major factor of waiting was that we couldn’t even fathom a family in our current one-bedroom apartment. Well, this past weekend one of our friends (basically my brother-in-law) really starting pressing us about it. It sort of forced us to think about a more tangible timeline, and we realized that in this new apartment, a family could become a reality. Then I started thinking about if I did have children, that I couldn’t imagine trying to raise them without my parents living nearby (both of our parent’s live in upstate New York). Then I was sad because I miss them. So as you can see, things quickly spiraled out of control. 

Well that was a long winded way of saying that the majority of my anxiety stemmed from the fact that I was getting ahead of myself. I love making plans for the future and I get excited thinking about how things will be. But I realize that it not only stresses me out, it also makes me lose sight of what is really great RIGHT NOW. 

I often have to snap out of these moments of anxiety (or rather BryGuy talks some sense into me) and realize that life is pretty darn good as it stands. Right now. Today. 



I have an amazing family, a loving and unbelievably handsome husband, hilarious and loyal friends, a roof over my head, hobbies I enjoy, and a job. Rather than stressing about things that are weeks or years down the road, I need to just take a deep breath and look forward to this evening and weekend.

Happy Friday everyone, go out and enjoy. The present is a present! (Or as Kanye would say, "My presence is a present, kiss my a**")

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